Today fails.

Today sucked. It wasn't one of those days where everyone was pissed off and angry. I'd prefer that to what today was. Oh no, it was worse than that. I've been late to everything today. Not necessarily physically late for things, but mentally I just wasn't there.

So I'm pretty much just depressed. Feeling a little behind. Lonely mostly.

What was really where it hit me hard how much this day sucked, was when I was finally done with what I had to do and was ready to go chat with people... everyone had gone to bed. Nobody was doing anything on cam, the chat rooms were devoid of the regulars I so adored, and the foreign people were off doing other things.

I miss them already. I feel bad for not even having had the chance to say goodnight. But why?

These people are the closest thing to friends I see more than once a week. It's both a brilliant part of the internet, and it's dark underbelly. It's addictive. While yes, I would much rather prefer to hang out with real people in the real world, I enjoy people online better because I don't have to look far to find someone who's like me, who shares the same interests I do. The problem lies in that I can't just have friends on the internet. I need touch, perspective, to actually go somewhere with someone and be away from home.

I think I'll get away for the weekend. Go see my cousin and his friends, if I can. If I can't, I think this weekend would be a good weekend to go meet someone new. Maybe more gamers? Someone I know from one of these Colorado gaming websites, perhaps?

I don't know. What should I do? How do I ask my mother? All these questions fly through my mind. The problem lies in that nobody I'm going to want to hang out with will be accepted by my mom, or stepdad for that matter.

This freaks me out though... I'm so suddenly depressed for no real easily discernible reason.

*sigh*, Trackmania, please save me. Even the motivational poster lookalikes are funny... all of them. I need help.